Monday, 30 May 2011

For want of a better word.

When I first created my account for my blog, I wrote in my 'about me' section that I am blonde, nostalgic and unpretentious

The first of those descriptions, blonde, goes without question.
(Even if my current shade of blonde isn't exactly what Mother Nature envisioned.) 

Me (on the right), demonstrating I am, infact, blonde...
For the sake of a picture

The second is also, should you have spent anymore than 30 minutes with me, quite an obvious trait.
I do like to think, however, I am nostalgic in the more optimistic sense;  It's not that I don't enjoy the present, or look forward to the future (as seen in my last post, I can be very excitable about upcoming events) but I enjoy reminiscing about amusing events throughout my life so far, rather than yearning for the ‘good old days’ in a melancholic sense.

Me (on the right), during the 'good old days'...
For the sake of a picture
In addition, something which I know is common in other groups too, are the 'private jokes' in my close circle of friends (indecipherable to the outside world) which tend to stem from entertaining conversations and occasions which are well worth remembering with fondness, if you know what I mean... 

The third trait I assigned to myself was unpretentious.

When I read the word back, it took me a while to even remember what it meant. So I had to think about why I even thought of it as something which describes me! What did I really mean?!

I came to the conclusion that it was probably a bit hypocritical of me...

I think it's fair to say that my possession of vocabulary is not very extensive. I discovered this when I got to university and felt the need to '' my essays to make them sound more like everyone else's. It's not that I'm not particularly intelligent, I am just never really in an environment where words beyond two syllables are used often, so they don't tend to become common usage ... (My excuse is that I have four siblings under the age of 6.)

Regardless, I think by 'unpretentious' what I actually meant was 'a bit common'. So using flowery language to show my distaste for snobbery in comparison to my background is what could be considered a little hypocritical.

I have to say, being 'common' wasn't really something I considered before coming to university. I regarded myself as quite average amongst the folk of Essex; which to me meant being like the majority of the south of England. But, after having faced abuse over how I pronounced my own surname, I soon saw I was wrong.
Having complained about my 'commoness' in drunken conversations (the truth always comes out in drunken conversations), I realised I was quite insecure over the whole issue of being different. I should have really seen this before, with my overemphasis on coming from Greater London rather than Essex (it's a London Borough, but with an Essex dialing code and postal address).

Stressing out about making people believe I was from London is probably due to the stereotype being an Essex Girl (having gone to visit my friend Lucy in Italy, and meeting her Australian friend, I discovered this stereotype is also known on the other side of the world)! The dumbness, teenage pregnancies, promiscuousness and fake tans (I assure you, I only succumb to two of these descriptions, you can decipher which) are generally seen as something 'common' and thus negative! Who would want to be associated with that?!

But, surprisingly, it was the BAFTA winning reality tv show, The Only Way is Essex, which really made me more secure of coming from Hornchurch. Firstly, it showed me that I really wasn't as stereotypically 'Essex' as the characters on the show and secondly, despite a wide dislike for the programme, the fact that my best friends love the show made me feel a bit privileged... as though they loved where I come from after all, despite all the mocking!

So... I can say with dignity now: I am unpretentious, this is true, but that's only because I'm a little bit more 'common' than your average southern Englishman...

1 comment:

  1. now you know this about me but i really like these three words for you. and i like this blog post a lot, it's quite personal darling, i like you sharing xxx