The never-failed attempt to remedy heartbreak: posting new pics on facebook of your gorgeous self, looking incredibly hot in a little body-con dress, a massive gleaming smile because you’re just those few pounds lighter, and an invisible (yet obvious) speech bubble around your head with the words: ‘Look at what you’re missing… idiot.’
(aka 'The Lydia Bright Method': The Only Way is Essex is recommended as your personal guide to life, just as it is mine...)
The ultimate form of revenge on your ex would be your own happiness; which for some reason seems to come hand in hand with looking amazing. And in today’s society this additionally seems to be accompanied by looking slim and sexy...
So it would seem pretty useful that when it comes to being heartbroken food is the last thing on your mind...
I mean, who has time to eat when you’re busy listening to your good ol’ mate Adele singing exactly what you’re thinking* and you’re spending hours upon hours watching Bridget Jones and Jeremy Kyle with the consolation that your life isn’t quite as distressing as those witnessed scenes (even if it does come scarily close), right?
*saying that, I get that you might be reasonably irrational after being dumped, but turning up out the blue years down the line and disturbing your ex with his new missus is, even in my opinion, a little too far…
So very wrong.
Whilst most girls would struggle to eat a slice of toast, I made up for the loss of a boyfriend by replacing him with food.
Lots of food.
Lots of really unhealthy food.
And as a result, I gained 10 pounds.
Fatter and heartbroken? That’s not very fair, is it?
Bikini Season is fast approaching, and despite the fact that I am Summer Holiday-less, I thought maybe it's now time to do something about this weight gain.
Wanting to have revenge would be good motivation in attempting to come closer to a 'bikini-bod' if I was actually still heartbroken, but perhaps the thought of sitting around in a new bikini will be motivation enough, even if that sitting around will occur in my back garden?
It's not that I particularly want to lose the weight again (although maybe losing a few pounds would be a bonus) but I would like to tone up a little.
My trips to the gym in recent weeks have unfortunately taken a back seat whilst some big bad guy, known as Revision, has hopped in on the passenger side of the Becca-mobile; but I feel that publicly announcing my aims of feeling a lot more comfortable in next to nothing, I will be more inclined to get my flat bottom into the gym for a bit of a perking up sesh!
You can all wish me luck as I embark on the journey up this mountainous dirt track;
but I'm afraid my success will have to be imagined,
unless you want to vacate to my garden for your summer holiday with me and my little sisters:
And in all honesty, Lulu's 'lap dancing' really isn't something you would want to miss...